(No, not like that. Although old Friday story Threesome At Dead Rock is still my most google-found page. so clearly implying the existence of adult content is the way to go. Porn-SEO!)
Anyway, hopefully there will be some more regular content on this website starting next week. For now, though, here’s some short work.
White Tornado
By Nick Bryan
My name is White Tornado and I don’t know what it means but they call me Whitey and Torn and someone calls me W.T. so it took me ages to work out what my real name was, but eventually after they shouted “Whte Tornado” for ages and I didn’t come, I figured out they must be talking to me because they kept on calling it and when I didn’t move they waved a stick.
Oh yes, I am a dog, I’ve given it some thought and would describe my type as medium and white, because some dogs are much smaller than me and others way bigger, to the extent that I worry they might eat me if I overstep their territory, whch I sometimes do because I like to run in circles chasing my own tail until I get dizzy, fall down and then do a poo.
And then I lose track of where I am, and before I realise, I have gone to the wrong place and I am being chased by either another dog or a man with a stick, and I find it’s always a stick, I haven’t yet worked out why people seem so attached to sticks, I myself am ambivalent to them, but if they throw them and I don’t bring them back, they get aggravated, and all I really want is a quiet life and all the time I need to run in circles until I feel a bit sick.
The best stick I ever retrieved was a few seconds ago, it was being thrown by a man at night into someone’s house and I was off my lead during that part of my walk, we were close by and I don’t think anyone with me had seen it, but I was able to catch it in mid-air, and I’m not usually that excited by sticks because they’re boring, but this one was a nice dirty red colour and had sparks flying from one end.
Oddly, no-one seemed very happy that I had caught it, thinking through the whole thing again has not helped me work out why, and running it back towards the man who threw it has only made him run away.
And I’ve just noticed my owners are shouting “White Tornado!” again and again, just like before, and I don’t really know why as I’ve already caught the damn stick.
Yes, this dog does know a lot of long words, I admit. Let’s pretend he’s being transcribed by someone quite pretentious. Anyway, copyright me 2012, do not steal, email me if you like.
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