World Book Night – The Evil Twin Of World Book Day, Surely?

World Book Night, of course, is the dark flip-side of World Book Day. During World Book Day, they charge money for small books, whereas on World Book Night they give away full-sized ones. If World Book Night were on a bad TV show, it would have a goatee beard.

Not that I’m complaining, of course – I went to my local World Book Night event and found the trolley of free books, conveniently parked outside the library – obviously, my free book was about a “Purveyor of Superior Funerals”, that’s exactly the grim subject matter I’d expect from the Dark Side. I would've stayed for the puppet show if scheduling had allowed.

(Yes, the puppet show. Hopefully involving Mister Punch tying people down and shoving books down their throat.)

But still, they could take this Evil Twin principle I've made up further. Whereas World Book Day holds open-air events encouraging people to read with love and smiles, World Book Night could bring in greased-up slavedrivers to force them at whippoint.

Maybe this is just the way I think. Obviously, both events are equally splendid and worthwhile, even if neither have yet performed a practical experiment to answer the ultimate question: could the human centipede read a book comfortably?

That sounds like a job for World Book Night to me. If anyone else can think of potential evil reading events, feel free to post them below - I’m considering sending a formal pitch document to The Government. Surely austerity doesn't apply when your ideas are funny?